You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
we're so committed to being not committed
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize