3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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