I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
