I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
