his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
