Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My vagina is officially offended.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
