i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
