Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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