I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
