I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
