the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
