I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
