We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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