no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
And then he peed in my hair
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