so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
