So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
