You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
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If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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