Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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