is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
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I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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