You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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