my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
