Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i will never coherently bang her
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
