I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
