Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
