he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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