me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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