Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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