he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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