Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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