so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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