I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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