Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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