with your own penis?
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
