shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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