Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
