Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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