physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
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