he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
a search helicopter?!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
