i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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