You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
