i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
