he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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