after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
