Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
