i don't like sucking hair
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
we're chasing vodka with high fives
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
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It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
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You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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