I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
