i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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