so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize