He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize