So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
