so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
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Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
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I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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