He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
