plz talk dirty to me
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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