Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
