You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
